It’s normal to feel lost in your 20s

You’re not lost, you’re exploring and that’s how you grow.

Your 20s can feel like a roller-coaster. One day, you’re ticking things off your to-do list and feeling like you’ve got it together.

The next day, you’re staring at the ceiling, wondering if you should drop everything and take a flight to another country. Sound familiar?

If you’re in your 20s and feeling like you’re lost, stuck or just making it up as you go, guess what? Same. You’re not the only student silently panicking on the TTC ride home or lying awake thinking, “What am I doing with my life?”

This decade is hyped up to be your prime. Everyone expects you to graduate, find a job you love, move out, build a savings account, get fit and meet your soulmate, all at once.

Trust me, almost no one has it all together. And the ones who seem like they do? They’re just doing their best, like you.

So, let’s break it down. Why is this stage so confusing? And what can you actually do when you feel like you’re floating through life without a map?

Perfect plans are a myth

Two men are sitting at a table and one of them is saying the words, "That's not true. That's a that's a myth." — *Via GIPHY*

There’s this checklist you’re made to feel like you should follow. Go to school, pick the perfect program, graduate on time, land a great job, be in a happy relationship and have a skincare routine (well, skincare is important).

But real life doesn’t care about your checklist.

Maybe you changed your program halfway through, maybe you’re in semester six when you thought you’d be done by now or maybe your “perfect job” turned out to be kind of a nightmare. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re figuring things out.

Your 20s are not about doing everything right, they’re about learning who you are and what actually makes you happy. That takes time and mistakes.

The goal isn’t to have it all together, it’s to keep learning and growing along the way.

Careers don’t follow a straight line

A woman is saying the words, "I have a job...finding a new job, which really is a full-time job." — *Via GIPHY*

Let’s talk jobs. Because nothing triggers a panic spiral faster than someone asking, “So what are you doing after graduation?”

It’s totally normal not to know. Some people leave college and land their dream job right away. Others take six months to even figure out what industry they want to be in. And a lot of grads work jobs that have nothing to do with their program.

That doesn’t mean they wasted time. Every job, internship or side hustle teaches you something, even if it’s just learning what you don’t want to do.

Career paths aren’t one perfect ladder. They’re more like a jungle gym. You’ll move sideways, take breaks, fall off and climb back up and that’s okay.

Use your time to test things out. Go to networking events, try work-study positions, book time with career services. Even if you’re unsure, taking any step forward will help you figure out what’s next.

Social media is highly filtered

A man is scrolling on his phone, then throwing it aside. — *Via GIPHY*

You’re in bed, doom-scrolling through your feed.

You see that someone your age just got engaged. Another friend is in Costa Rica for a vacation. Someone else just launched their third “passion project.” Meanwhile, you’re still trying to figure out what to have for dinner.

It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. Social media shows people’s best moments, not their bad days. Nobody posts about crying in the library, eating dry cereal for dinner or failing a test, but those things are real and they happen to everyone.

So, when you’re feeling down because you’re not “thriving” like everyone else seems to be, take a break and log off.

Remember, your pace is valid and what matters most is your own journey.

You don’t find purpose, you build it

A man is saying the words, "Let's take it to a whole other place." — *Via GIPHY*

So many of us are waiting for that lightbulb moment. That one class or conversation that makes everything click and suddenly you just know what you’re meant to do.

Newsflash, that moment might never come. And that’s OK.

Purpose isn’t found, it’s built. You try stuff, figure out what lights you up and slowly piece it together.

Don’t stress about knowing your life’s calling in your 20s. Start with what’s right in front of you. What are you curious and passionate about? What makes you feel alive, even for a second? Start there.

Join a club, take a course outside your major, sign up for something that scares you a little. You never know what might lead to something meaningful.

You’re doing better than you think

A man is raising his fist and smiling and the words, “NICE JOB!” are written below. — *Via GIPHY*

First of all, if you’ve made it this far, gold star for you.

Second, here’s your reminder: you’re not behind. You’re growing. And growth can be messy, confusing and uncomfortable, but it’s also part of the process.

Right now, you’re figuring out the kind of adult you want to be. That doesn’t happen overnight.

You don’t need to have it all sorted. Just take the next step, try new things, ask questions and be honest with yourself.

Your 20s don’t need to be perfect, they just need to be yours.

Feature image courtesy of Ryan Snaadt via Unsplash

Trying to find your passion? Check out how to find your passion in post-secondary!