A guide to surviving awkward conversations

Talking never felt so hard…

It won’t happen in every conversation, but it will inevitably happen at some point. The conversation is going well; you’ve learned all the surface stuff about the person, their program, schedule, maybe a hobby or two and then…radio silence. You can almost hear the static playing. Awkward.

Navigating any social setting can be troublesome for students. Twelve-plus years of school haven’t made a dent in our confidence levels for socialization. Sudden culture shocks when moving or adapting to a different level of education only add to what students have to learn in order to survive. It seems like understanding social norms never ends.

Perhaps we’ve learned some transferable tips along the way, but it hasn’t made it any easier.

The ‘break out of your shell’ advice can only get you so far. Most introverts are tired of hearing it. Even extroverts can feel daunted by meeting new people. Sure, you’ll liven up once the ice is broken, but that ice can feel 10 metres thick.

Don’t stress

Sydney telling Tina to breathe while Tina panics. From the TV show, The Bear. — *Via GIPHY*

It’s perfectly normal to be nervous or uncomfortable when meeting someone new. It’s how you handle the stress that affects your social life.

We’ve all been there: stressed out and eventually it gets the better of us. We say the wrong thing or don’t say anything at all, kicking ourselves afterward. Overly stressing in any situation will almost always fail. Not just in conversation, but in life.

To avoid awkward silences in the first place, go in calm, cool and collected. Going in full of anxiety is only going to fast-track your way to an awkward silence. It’s almost a self-fulfilling prophecy to have a conversation expecting awkwardness.

The conversation could naturally turn into a long-lasting friendship without putting in any effort. Or at the very least, build a professional foundation while you’re at school.

Don’t ruin your chances at a happy community around you by overthinking. Take the pressure off, go in with an open mind and see where people take you.

Be prepared

Johnny from the TV show Schitts Creek, wearing a blue and white baseball uniform, telling someone off screen to "Always be ready." — *Via GIPHY*

Have a generic send-off handy. Once the novelty of getting to first know someone wears off, it doesn’t naturally go anywhere. End it with a simple, “See you around,” or “I got stuff to do, catch you later,” and turn back to whatever it is you were doing. No shame in it, and odds are the other person was feeling the same awkwardness you were. It doesn’t always mean this relationship ends here; it just means it’s on hold until next time.

Alternatively, if you wanna keep the conversation going, then having a few topics ready might breathe new life into your chat. It could be popular news, something trendy or one of your interests. Be careful of the latter, though; hobbies can become pretty niche, so it’s best left to the last topic.

Nobody knows who you are or who you were before coming to Humber Polytechnic or the University of Guelph-Humber. This is a fresh start. If it helps, prepare some cool anecdotes about yourself. Establish yourself and be happy in your own skin. Get to know people and they’ll get to know you. It’s all part of the fun!

Being prepared will help with awkward exchanges. It’s impossible to avoid them, but having a playbook ready will ease your stress.

Transition

'Snooki' from the TV show, the Jersey Shore, leaning her chin on her hand then awkwardly turning toward someone off-screen saying "So anyway." — *Via GIPHY*

Dig deeper. You’ve finally gotten past the small talk. You might even genuinely like this person. Showing interest goes a long way. Go back to one of the more interesting topics and inquire more. It might spark a deeper conversation and bounce to other topics from there.

A sure-fire way of doing this is by focusing on a topic they’re passionate about. Didn’t think you’d be reading people, did ya? It’s a part of any social language, and the majority of us know how to do it instinctively, whether you think you do or not. It’s been ingrained in us since we were kids.

Start looking out for those little hints, and you’ll be surprised at how being observant will help you in your plight.

Talk to the right people

A clip from the Top Gun movie. Maverick and Goose share a high five while walking down the air strip. — *Via GIPHY*

This one’s for the introverts out there, but it’s just as helpful for everyone else. We all have to converse from time to time. It’s how society functions, but if you ever want to be around people purely for enjoyment, make sure you’re surrounded by like-minded people.

It’s much easier to get lost in conversation when you’re having a good time. Getting involved with people who share your interests is the easiest way of doing just that. Remember when I said talking about your niche hobbies might not always work? Well, joining a club guarantees it will. It’s a foolproof way to ensure you’ll babble on about a specific hobby with someone who’s just as interested as you are.

Have you ever had an awkward conversation when you’re talking about something both you and the other person are passionate about? I’m guessing the answer is a whopping no!

Checking out IGNITE’s Club Fair on Oct. 1 at the Lakeshore and North campuses is a great first step to making new friends or diving deeper into a hobby while taking a much-needed mindful rest from school.

It’s OK to be alone

An animation of an all white figure, holding a game console while a cat hangs off one side of the bed and another sleeps soundly on the other. — *Via GIPHY*

Learning to be social is one thing. But it’s important to know that being alone is just as normal. If you don’t feel like having a conversation, it’s OK. It’s important to learn how to handle the awkwardness that comes with talking, since we’ll have to at some point, but introversion is perfectly healthy as well. Embrace that side of yourself and take baby steps. If you’re always pushing yourself into conversations, odds are you’re not going to be having a good time, which is a recipe for disaster.

Learn to be social but not at the cost of enjoyment.

Remember to have fun. Talking with each other isn’t meant to be dreadful. It’s meant to entertain, develop a new friendship or accomplish a task professionally. If you’re not enjoying yourself, sorry to say, you’re doing it wrong.

Go back to the drawing board, journal or simply spend time with yourself. You’ll crave some human interaction eventually, and you’ll have a bunch of tips from this article to help you along the way. Relax, enjoy life and have a good time even when awkward moments come up.

What brand is your microwave?

A person awkwardly dressed as Benjamin Franklin wearing black sunglasses and headphones dances on cracking ice with a snowy mountain behind him. — *Via GIPHY*

If none of these tips work out and the conversation dries out, either learn to embrace silence or the awkwardness. Sounds weird, right?

This is a last resort, but a potent one. Joking about the awkwardness is the definitive way to break the ice. It’s the equivalent of a jackhammer on a frozen lake. After that, swim toward silence or see where the conversation takes you. Be comfortable, so anything that comes to mind comes out in a respectful way, of course. It’s meant to be ludicrous and to acknowledge the awkwardness. Bring some laughter to the situation.

Confidence is key here. It’s a crucial part of learning how to converse; and believe me, it’s not easy. Learning to be social might require some effort. Train that skill like any other.

Take any of these tips and apply confidence to it. Now you’re cooking with fire. Confidence will enhance any of these tips into working that much better and you’ll also feel more comfortable putting them into action.

Feature image courtesy of Pavel Danilyuk via Pexels.

Wanna skip the awkwardness? Starting a club is simple!