How friendships change during post-secondary

True friendships grow as you do.

You and your high school best friend were inseparable. You knew each other’s schedules, favourite lunches and embarrassing stories. There were inside jokes only you two understood.

Then post-secondary happened. Suddenly, you’re in different cities, different programs, or worse, different time zones.

And before you know it, you’re sitting in a lecture hall surrounded by strangers, wondering how to make friends without sounding like you’re conducting a job interview.

It’s not that you don’t care. It’s just that post-secondary is a whirlwind with new schedules, part-time jobs, commutes, deadlines and the unspoken competition over who’s running on the least amount of sleep.

You might have to plan hangouts two weeks in advance, which can feel weird. But friendships are meant to change as we grow up and change doesn’t have to be the end.

Here are some ways friendships change and some tips to keep them strong.

Friendships take a little more work now

A woman is saying the words, "IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME." — *Via GIPHY*

In high school, being friends was easy. You saw each other in class and at lunch, and it felt like spending time together happened naturally.

There were always moments to catch up, laugh or vent about your day without planning ahead.

In post-secondary, that convenience disappears. You might live far apart, have conflicting schedules and be juggling group projects and part-time jobs.

Suddenly, spending time with friends doesn’t happen automatically; it has to be intentional.

It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just life. Keeping a friendship alive now takes effort, planning and communication. Sometimes that means literally scheduling time to hang out like it’s a class or study session.

It might feel less spontaneous, but that effort shows the friendship is worth prioritizing and when you do connect, the time together feels more meaningful.

Reconnecting with old friends

A woman is saying the words, "We should hang out all the time. I mean, we should all hang out sometime." — *Via GIPHY*

Of course, not all friendships have to fade. Some just need a little nudge to come back to life.

That could be something small, like sending a funny meme that reminded you of them or suggesting a quick coffee when you happen to be in the same area.

The key is to keep it easy and low-pressure, there’s no need to jump straight into a long, emotional conversation. Starting small is often the best way to reconnect.

Give it time and you may find yourself slipping right back into your old rhythm, laughing and chatting like nothing has changed.

Even if it doesn’t feel exactly the same, reaching out still matters. Making the effort shows you care and keeps the door open for future connection.

Sometimes, just knowing you tried is enough to keep a friendship alive, even through busy schedules, distance or life’s many changes.

Building connections on campus

One woman is standing behind the counter and smiling, while another in the front is saying the words, “IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.” — *Via GIPHY*

In post-secondary, friendships don’t happen just because someone sits next to you in class. Now, it’s more about finding people who share your interests or vibe.

That could mean joining a club, attending a campus event or striking up a conversation while waiting in line for coffee (yes, it’s scary, but people do it all the time.)

The key is to keep things low-pressure. Start with small interactions, say hi, comment on something you both notice or ask a simple question. Over time, these little connections can grow into real friendships.

Even if a conversation feels a bit awkward at first, it’s all part of the process and each interaction is a step toward meeting new people and building your community.

Kickstart your friendships with Speed Friending

A group of people is sitting together at an event. — *Image via IGNITE*

If the thought of talking to strangers makes you want to hide behind your laptop, Speed Friending is the perfect way for first-year students to meet people on campus.

You’ll meet new people, play games and have fun together while making connections on campus.

You can join in at Humber Polytechnic’s Lakeshore campus on Aug. 27 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on the second floor of the L Commons, at North campus on Aug. 29 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. in the gymnasium or at University of Guelph-Humber on Aug. 25–26 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the South Atrium.

You don’t need a pitch or a perfect icebreaker, just show up, say hi and see where the conversation goes.

It’s fast, friendly and surprisingly un-awkward and it might just be the easiest way to start building your post-secondary crew. Not in your first year? Don’t worry! Stay tuned for more Speed Friending in September.

Friendships take time

Two men are excitedly shouting the words, “BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!” — *Via* *GIPHY*

Whether it’s an old friend or someone you just met, keeping a friendship going is all about small, consistent efforts.

Friendships will change as life changes. Some friends stick around for years, others for just a season, but both leave their mark. Making the effort shows that the friendship matters and even small moments together can feel meaningful.

One day, you’ll realize that while grades and deadlines fade, the people you laughed, stressed and pulled all-nighters with will stick with you.

So, text that old friend, join a club or check out Speed Friending. Every great friend started as a stranger and you never know who might become your next lifetime buddy.

Feature image courtesy of Ashkan Forouzani via Unsplash

Want some tips for keeping your long-distance friendship alive? Check out your guide for long-distance friendships!