Decoding your professors and peers

Decode the cast of your campus life and keep up with the plot.

Starting a semester can feel like walking into a Netflix show. You don’t know the new characters, yet you are expected to keep up with the plot anyway. Luckily, once you decode the characters of campus life (aka your professors and peers), you’ll be crushing the semester like a pro.

Here’s a breakdown of the people you will come across in your post-secondary journey.

The professors

The Strict Terror

A man saying, "Turn to page 394" — *Via GIPHY*

If an assignment is due at 11:59 p.m., don’t even think about handingi t in at 12:01 a.m. They have strict office hours and their email format is stricter than the essay rubric—one missing detail and you’ll never get a reply. Forget being late to their class—late arrivals get marked absent. The centre of every “how are your classes going?” conversation, and you’ll find the study huddle before midterms working overtime.

Pro tip: Never ask, “Can I get an extension?” unless you are ready for a death glare.

The Storyteller

a woman saying, "I could go on..and on and on." — *Via GIPHY*

You’ll know about their trip to Italy before the topic of the day. Their slides? Filled with pictures of their dog. Favourite phrase? “Sorry, I’m getting off topic.” Sure, you might leave their class not knowing what you learned, but at least you now know the best hiking trails to visit.

The “Wait, did we do this last week?”

A man saying, "I sort of just...forgot." — *Via GIPHY*

Brilliant, inspiring and possibly the smartest professor you know, always on top of their game and you are excited to learn from them every week, except they are a little forgetful. One week is, “Oh, right, the deadline was due last week,” and the next week is “You can’t see my slides? Did I not upload them?” (hint: no, they didn’t). Their ideal student is the one acting as a human calendar.

The Ghost

A cartoon man disappering into the bush. — *Via GIPHY*

Office hours? Canceled. Forget email replies—they’ll take seven to 10 business days. You’ll find them after class—if there are classes. Their most-used phrase, “Next class is online,” will have you debating the commute. You’ll spend more time trying to decode their existence in the class group chats and on Rate My Professors than actually in lectures.

The Jargon Master

A close zoom in on a woman being confused. — *Via GIPHY*

Every sentence is packed with complex academic terms and acronyms, which leaves the whole class blinking. Their essay assignments can double as a crash course in dictionary diving. And your search history will just be a long list of definitions.

Basically, every lecture is a test of how well you can decode their lingo.

The Chill

A man relaxing by leaning into an office chair and his legs propped onto a table. — *Via GIPHY*

These professors are the vibe. Flexible deadlines and casual emails—you don’t worry too much about their classes. Classes? Sometimes, cancelled, because they “couldn’t find a parking spot.” These are the professors you rely on for extensions when you totally “didn’t have the time” for the assignment.

The Peers

The Group Project Warrior

A man pulling out and opening a comically long to-do list — *Via GIPHY*

A shared doc is prepared before you can even walk out of the class. Tabs organized by tasks and constant reminders flying in the group chat. With every instruction memorized, this person runs the project like a startup CEO and makes sure everyone gets the perfect score.

The real challenge is learning how to decode their nonstop efficiency and adapt to it.

The Side-Quest Enthusiast

a woman taking a selfie with a tennis racket — *Via GIPHY*

Always busy. Always everywhere. Their to-do list never gets over. One minute, it’s campus events, the next it could be summer activities or even starting a club. They’ll complain about having too much on their plate, but they secretly thrive on it. Their calendars will make you question if your 24 hours are the same as theirs.

The Procrastination Prodigy

Their life motto? “Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.” Somehow, they still always end up with a high grade. Binge-learning is their top skill, learning and understanding the concepts of week one the night before finals and still ace it.

Bonus: You only find out about the deadlines when you see them typing frantically at 11:58 p.m.

The Diet Coke Addict

a man walking in and grabbing a diet coke can — *Via GIPHY*

Diet Coke is their morning coffee. Every time you see them, they always. Have. A. Can.

It is a part of their accessories at this point. Makes you wonder if their blood type is Diet Coke.

The Social Butterfly

A man saying, "I'm so tired of being so popular." — *Via GIPHY*

The classic “extrovert that adopted an introvert”. The campus niche celebrity, everyone on campus either knows them or knows of them. Easy to talk to, fun to be around and somehow always at the centre of the friend web. Their contact list is double the size of yours, minimum.

The Runway Model

A boy posing and saying, "Fashion!" — *Via GIPHY*

Serving looks at an 8 a.m. lecture like it’s Fashion Week. Their Insta page could double as a modelling portfolio. Equal parts in fashion inspo and intimidation (seriously, how do they look that good before a coffee?), they’d fit right into IGNITE’s Street Styles — because every hallway is their runway

Cast of campus life

a film clapperboard readong "Thats a Wrap!!!" — *Via GIPHY*

Campus life can feel like a sitcom; you’ll meet every type of character along the way. The key is to decode and learn how to work with them, and once you do, you’ll unlock the real “cheat code” to surviving the semester. Enjoy the show!

Feature image courtesy of Dom Fou on Unsplash.

Want to learn more about your professors’ journeys? Check out professors were once students too!