With the new school year on the horizon, IGNITE is here to prepare you for theÂ slew of highly intelligent, but notably quirkyÂ professors that youâ€™re bound to have.
1. The Old One Whoâ€™s The Least Bit Tech-Savvy
Itâ€™s a dreaded moment when the professorâ€™s laptop flips open and you hear the words: â€œHuh, now whatâ€™s happened here?â€ Theyâ€™re clicking â€˜noâ€™ on that pop-up when they should be clicking â€˜yesâ€™. Theyâ€™ve tried to play the wrong file format. Then the classroom descends into an awful spiral of awkward silence as the professorâ€™s curses are drowned out by the sounds of pop-up ads offering quick ways to make cash.
2. The One Who Wants To Be A Comedian
Theyâ€™ve got their shoes off and their feet up. Itâ€™s everybodyâ€™s favourite professor, at least until midterms roll around. With their slick comebacks and sweet puns, theyâ€™ve won over everybodyâ€™s hearts with their cheesy one-liners.
3. The Munchkin
Itâ€™s your first day in class and youâ€™re wondering where the professor is. Heâ€™s ten minutes late and now some young fellow is rambling away at the start of the class. Thatâ€™s when you realize that this guy, who dresses a little too much like Justin Bieber, is your professor.
4. Grandfather Time
Itâ€™s nearing the end of class and you look up from drowsily staring into the distance to wonder if your professor had less grey hair when they started lecturing than they do now. If there was a program called Bachelor of Watching Paint Dry, theyâ€™d be the coordinator of it.
5. The One Who Tells You Your Career Hopes Are Doomed
Theyâ€™re not saying that employers arenâ€™t hiring in your field, theyâ€™re just suggesting that you need to be a walking swiss-army knife of skills in order to be employable. Oh, and there are jobs, but you may have to purchase a one-way ticket to rural Malaysia, where business is booming.
6. The Hero Of His Own Story
They begin the lecture by saying,Â â€œI was 21, and I had just entered the industryâ€¦â€ By the time they end it, your â€˜lecture notesâ€™ are actually a dictation of his autobiography.
7. The One Whoâ€™s More Eager To Leave Than You Are
They glance at the clock every ten minutes, counting down the seconds until they get to bolt out of the room. Theyâ€™ve got a cup of coffee in one hand and an eye on the door as they talk at the speed of light before ending class and darting out. Try to talk to him outside of class, and heâ€™ll hiss and flee.
8. The Eye-Candy
Who knew that lifting a laser pointer required so much flexing?
9. The One Who Stares Into Your Soul
All they need is a cigarette and a bottle of whiskey, and a battalion of tanks to command. Theyâ€™ve never specifically mentioned it, but just by the sound and look of them, youâ€™re positive that theyâ€™ve fought in ‘Nam.
10. The One Who Changes Your Whole Outlook On Life
Pack your bag and get ready to backpack through the Himalayas, because youâ€™re going to need a little time off to contemplate the universe after this professor is finished blowing your mind.